Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Get Back, Joe Joe
Ok, so...I'm sure that you guys all remember how I said that I had those friends out from Scotland, J and T? Well, the other day we were hanging out at this fountain downtown with two of my gal friends...crap...also J and T...how inconvenient...um...we'll just call my gal friends Je and Ti...ok...so his homeless man came up to us, introduced himself as Joe and proceeded to shake all of our hands...and sit down with us. Normally I'm ok with this, because most of the homeless people around here are actually very friendly...however, this guy was CREEPY!
What he wanted were directions to McDonalds, so he asked, and Je told him...the conversation went a little something like this, though not verbatim.
Joe: *to T* Hey, where's McDonalds?
T: I dunno, I'm not from here.
Joe: *turns to J*
J: Also not from here...
Je: *gives directions to nearest McDonalds.*
Joe: Are you lying to me?
Joe: Two people have lied to me already about the location of McDonalds!
Me: Oh, no, she's not lying, I've been there before.
Joe: Ok, cause you don't want to know what I'll do if you're lying!
Everyone But Joe: *Way freaked out.*
Then, he addressed J, who was wearing a bandanna that gave him the appearance of...well a Backstreet Boy, go J! ANYWAYS, Joe tapped J's bandanna and here is more conversation, again, not verbatim:
Joe: *tapping J's bandanna* Do you have a spare one of those for me?
Joe: Where did you buy it?
Joe: Oh, where can I buy one around here?
J: Hey, Havah, do you know where you can buy bandanna's here?
Me: Uh...no friggin clue...
Joe: I have to get me one of those!
So then we just kind of sat there in all of our awkwardness until Joe demanded that J go with him to McDonalds as his buddy...J said that he would walk to the end of the park with him, and he did. They stopped at the corner, and J kept trying to turn back, but Joe just kept chatting him up...including asking J if he wanted to go find some women, to which J cleverly replied "I've got my women back there, thanks..." Good one, J. ANYWAYS, eventually J managed to get away from Joe, and we all went to go get chinese food at this restaurant...Oh, and at some point while we were sitting with Joe, T told him to stay cool...bad idea, T...good thing he was sidetracked by J and the bandanna.
HOWEVER while we were waiting for our food to arrive, T looked out of the window of the restaurant (we were sitting near the window) and BAM, there was Joe...with a McDonald's bag. J freaked out and demanded that we all duck down so that he wouldn't see us...We all did, except for Je, who thought it was stupid; he couldn't get us in the restaurant...probably true...but J, who was quite scared, was fairly upset with her. Anyways, eventually Joe went away, and all was well.
All was well...until TONIGHT! It is J and T's last day visiting, and we went to this fairly nice restaurant downtown, fairly far from where the fountain/park was, and it was a LONG meal, so partway through J, T and I went out to get some fresh air, and we were just hanging about...and across the street, we see Joe, same camo pants, same rolled up sleeping bag...same Joe. J freaked out and T wasn't far behind, so we quickly re-entered the restaurant in hysterics, and the Joe saga ends here...for now...I will keep you posted on further Joe sightings!