Thursday, December 4, 2008

The Church of Slash Addiction (Featuring: Weed The Kings, The Academy Is...On Crack and Cobra Startrip)

So just how DO you convert people to this charming little religion?

We The Kings is a gateway drug - they are the marijuana.
Their song Check Yes Juliet, complete with charming music played on the radio, and has wormed it's way onto the iPods and computers of many teens and preteens. Thus, curiously, the smart ones will decide that they want to look things up about We The Kings and all of their awesomness.

This will lead them to The Academy Is..., the addictive drug of the path - they are the cocaine.
This will blow their minds because they have not one album, but THREE! And they are good albums...and exactly one good music video, which they will find and love - either that or they will decide that William is sexy and that's good enough reason to be addicted. Either way, they are bound to eventually stumble across the Bring It! (Snakes On A Plane) music video.

This will lead them to Cobra Starship, the psychadellic, awesome, fun loving, colorful drug - they are the acid.
Cobra Starship will wow them with their kickass beats, crazy clothing, INCREDIBLE sexiness - and if that doesn't do it, this very strange, strange video and especially their overly genius home music video. Once a person gets to Cobra, there is no going back. Soon, they will begin to look up things online, pictures...and there is no way NOT to stumble across this...

Once you have gone from Weed The Kings to The Academy Is...On Crack to Cobra Startrip, it's all lemons, fluff, pwp and The Church of Slash Addiction!

Just let me ask you:
Hey, have you heard of my religion?
It's called the Church of Slash Addiction
And we believe that boys have lust one another

Because now,
We want to watch ‘em gettin’ busy
You know it makes us kinda dizzy
It’s what we dream
Come on boy, give it, just give it,
Just give it to him

He’s willing,
We’re waiting.
Turn out the lights

Tonight slash is the drug you can't deny
Tonight those boys are gonna get you high
Subtext is erotic, hey hey hey
Subtext is erotic, yeah, hey hey hey
Subtext is erotic, hey hey hey
Subtext is erotic, yeah, hey hey hey
Subtext is erotic

Just let me tell you
Hey, you know want them making out now
We’re really only wanting sex now
But we can pay
The price you charge for watching you

Because I,
I've got a nasty new obession
It comes with two boys undressin’
It’s what we dream
Come on boy, give it, just give it,
Just give it to him

He’s willing,
I'm waiting.
Turn out the lights

Tonight slash is the drug you can't deny
Tonight those boys are gonna get you high
Subtext is erotic
Tonight slash is the drug you can't deny
Tonight those boys are gonna get you high
Subtext is erotic, hey hey hey
Subtext is erotic, yeah, hey hey hey
Subtext is erotic, hey hey hey
Subtext is erotic, yeah, hey hey hey
Subtext is erotic

Just shipping those two guys
Is gonna get you high
But watching those two guys
Will really get you

Tonight slash is the drug you can't deny
Tonight those boys are gonna get you high
You know, you know, you know it
Tonight slash is the drug you can't deny
Tonight those boys are gonna get you high
Subtext is erotic, hey hey hey
Subtext is erotic, yeah, hey hey hey
Subtext is erotic, hey hey hey
Subtext is erotic, yeah, hey hey hey
Subtext is erotic, hey hey hey
Subtext is erotic, hey hey hey
Subtext is erotic, yeah, hey hey hey
Subtext is erotic, hey hey hey
Subtext is erotic, yeah

Thursday, October 16, 2008

T-Shirts, Part 1/2!!!

Ok, so being the really, REALLY ridiculously lame person that I am, I took a picture of all of my t-shirts for a post...and now you get to read about them!



That was my high school's senior shirt...well one of two. The back has everyone's name in a peace sign, that's pretty great.


I have had this shirt for SO long, it used to be WAY too big for me, now it's only MOSTLY too big for me.



This is the shirt that I got from the event where I preformed the Hooded Hawk Dance - it was a fund raiser for a children's hospital, GREAT night.


This was the t-shirt my school gave me when I was a froshie!


Awesome volunteer shirt from an event for a charity I volunteer for. Happens every summer, god I love it!



That's the other shirt my school gave me as a senior. Not was awesome, but funnier.



I made this shirt, and it's just a lovely little display of Gabe/William...I love them so much! Yes, I'm a freak!


Yup. One of two purchases I have EVER made at Hot Topic...and I made them on the same day. Mostly just have this shirt cause I love the band...and it's brightly colored.

FRING - Front

This shirt my friend, Voldemort gave me, it's an arts festival in Edinburgh, Scotland, Fring Festival, it's a pretty cool shirt, the pictures didn't come out well.


Life just wouldn't be complete without a Spamalot t-shirt!


My sister gave me this a couple of years ago, and I LOVE it, because I love Goonies and I love Chunk and I love my sister.

The picture of the front didn't come out well at all, but that's my crazy awesome tiedying skills at work! YES! I DID THAT!

I just got this shirt, it's colorful and AWESOME, plus, it displays an EXCELLENT message!
OH MY - Front

This shirt is my Mona Lisa...I've been working on it for months and it's not done yet. It's about 2 sizes too big for me, and only the front is done...I think when I finish it there will be a whole blog post about THIS shirt.

Got this at the Bruce Springsteen concert this year, I LOVE it and I LOVED the concert! Great memories.

SNOOPY - Front

Just got this one too, it makes me happy because, well, it's SNOOPY and a RAINBOW umbrella, there is NOTHING bad about this shirt.


This was the other thing I bought at Hot Topic. EASILY one of my favorite shirts b/c of the band and the design, LOOK at how cool that is! AND ALL OF THE COLORS!

FBR - Front

This is probably the most boring shirt I own, but I LOVE the design and the Record Label. I bought it at Warped Tour for next to nothing, and I really like it. I think it needs to be sharpied, what do you say?

Ok, that's it for now! The others another time!

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Readers Digest Version: Cobra Starship and The Academy Is...

Ok, so basically, this is Cobra Starship. They are on DAMN good looking band...and yeah, their music is DAMN good too...and their song titles, like "Damn You Look Good And I'm Drunk," or "Prostitution is the World's Oldest Profession (And I, Dear Madame, Am I Professional)." I kid you not, they rock...I mean look at them, powder blue suits and a hot pink dress? Oh...and did I mention that their goal is to teach people not to take themselves so seriously? That's pretty fucking awesome. The end. Or not, because I can't stop talking about how kick ass this band is. Their music videos run the world and I have NEVER seen a band preform on stage with more energy than Cobra Starship. Also, they support Slash Fanfiction and having a good time...and they give good hugs.

This is The Academy Is... They have a really shitty band name, but I guess there isn't really all that much that I can do about that. They too are a pretty good looking band, but not QUITE as good...that's not the point. The point is they are 'emo,' by definition, but I have never seen an emo band that spent more time being goofy. They too, have odd song titles, such as "Beware! Cougar!" and "Summer Hair = Forever Young." They also have a podcast, an Australian guitarist, and no stage presence. Ok, so one of those is bad. Just pretend I never typed it. *wink.* Their songs are really good, kind of deep...and they plant lots of lovely innuendo in their music...and you all know how much I love innuendo. They are best band friends with Cobra Starship. I know...I can hardly believe how much awesome is one place when they are together - it's pretty much an intense over load...complete with loss of air and temporary loss of judgment...on their part...mostly.

This is Gabe Saporta. He is the lead singer for Cobra Starship. He's hot. He's sexual. He's got a GREAT voice. He's funny. He's fucking William Beckett...oh wait, pretend I didn't say that, there's no proof. There is, however, proof that he is awesome. He is VERY comfortable with his body, he writes GREAT songs, he spends a lot of time with his fans, and he supports slash fanfiction...yes, he even reads it. About himself. I love him, but not in the way where I would marry him, because he has to marry William. He loves William. He's said so. Also, Gabe is an excellent dancer. He used to be in Midtown, but it got to depressing, so that stopped happening. Now Cobra is happening, and Cobra is REALLY happening. Also, Gabe has excellent style. He likes bright colors and cherishes his purple hoodie. Fashion magazines would probably crucify him, but hey, they would DEFINITELY crucify me, so I don't really care what they have to say. And neither does Gabe. At least according to his music, which I trust, because he is very passionate about that. And about William.

This is Alex Suarez. He plays bass for Cobra Starship. He also plays maracas. And likes airplane alcohol. Look at all that talent. He is a goofball too, as you can see...I hope. Alex went to culinary school. He can cook. He is also hot. He can also play an instrument. He can also imitate The Godfather. He also looks very cuddly. He is also VERY nice. He also gives great hugs. I'm thinking that he might be husband material...but I'm mostly basing that off of the cooking thing and the nice thing...the other stuff...well yeah, he's just Alex Suarez. He has a side project with Ryland Blackinton, who we'll meet later. It's called Ivy League, and they probably rock, I should look into it and actually give you an opinion that you can use.

This is Ryland Blackinton. He plays guitar for Cobra Starship. He is also Guy Ripley. It's hard to explain. Ryland has that one side project with Alex, he is also ridiculously tall and skinny. Kind of like a flagpole, only better looking with more hair...and eyes. He is VERY funny and dressed up as Waldo for Halloween. Is there any reason not to love him? Probably...but I have yet to discover it, so I'm happy with him. Ryland also has a tendency to sing while standing around at signings. Or maybe that was just in my state...but I doubt it. He also does a REALLY good British Accent, which comes in handy when he is Guy Ripley. Again, it's complicated.

This is Victoria Asher. Some people call VickyT. She plays Keytar for Cobra Starship. She too is incredibly hot. And awesome. Victoria was a film student before she joined Cobra, which means she made their Guilty Pleasure Home Video...which is arguably the best invention ever made. She likes to sing with Ryland at the signings. She also likes to drink, but I think that's kind of all of them. She also smokes, which kinda sucks, but that's her would just suck for it to kill her early, because she's damn talented. She also wears really cool clothes. And did I mention she plays Keytar?!

This is Nate Novarro. Some people call him Nasty Nate Novarro. He plays drums for Cobra Starship. He is REALLY hot. He is also very short. He also the baby of the band. He seems to be confused by simple things, such as how beer manages to get from bottles to cups. He also has a nosering, which usually isn't hot, but with him, it is...or maybe I'm just smitten by this hottie. He used to be the drum tech for Armor For Sleep. Then he and Gabe started Cobra Starship...that was probably a better choice. Oh, and he's from Tennessee, which makes him even hotter to me...which is also kind of a long story...but it's true. Tennessee is hot.

This is William Beckett. He is the singer of The Academy Is... He is also kind of a fox, as you can see. He also knows this, which is ok. He is also fucking Gabe...oh wait, I still don't have proof...Anyways, he turned all emo in high school. started the band, grew his hair out, cut it, grew it out again, cut it, and now he's growing it out again. He also likes beer. And angsty blogging. and politics. I get the feeling that he's kind of buzzkill when he's sober. Ironic, huh. He also likes to be deep...and put sexual innuendo about Gabe in his songs...again, little proof...minus the songs, which COULD be about other people, but I don't think so. Also, he can be REALLY funny sometimes, so I guess we can forgive his buzzkillness. Sometimes.

This is Mike Carden. Some people like to call him Santi.
He plays Guitar for The Academy Is...
He has been with the band since they started.
He also edits TAITV with Jack the Camera Guy.
He kind of creeps me out.
Ok, he REALLY creeps me out.
'Nough said.
Let's move on.

This is Adam T. Siska. Some people call him Sisky Business. Some people just call him Sisky. He plays bass for The Academy Is... I don't know who gave him a wallaby, I know that I wouldn't trust him with one. He's crazy. He is also a lot of fun, which is good. He used to have dead ferret on the side of his head. Ok, so it was actually his hair, but I swear to god, you couldn't have told the difference either. He cut it. Chizz interviewed him about it, you'll meet Chizz later. Sisky has two cats, Baby and Little Girl. He used to have Little Boy too, but it got eaten by a coyote, which actually kinda sucks. Sisky wears girls clothing sometimes, but for some reason, he actually manages to pull it off. He is also fucking The Butcher...but you should probably ignore that, since again, I don't have any proof.

This is Andy Mrotek. Some people call him The Butcher. Ok, everyone calls him The Butcher, except for those who just call him Butcher. He plays Drums for The Academy Is... He is also an artist. He also has a lot of tattoos. He seems to dislike clothing, since he is most frequently seen wearing nothing but booty shorts. And sometimes shoes. He is kind of adorable when he smiles. He is a very energetic drummer, he laid down the track for Fast Times at Barrington High in two days. I don't really know much about recording, but I think that's pretty damned fast. At least when they talk about it they all sound pretty impressed... he and Sisky together are Neon Bodystyle. They steal shit and they give shit.

This is Michael Guy Chislett. Some people call him Chizz. I like to call him Chizzie. He plays Guitar for The Academy Is... He is REALLY hot. He is also Australian. I caught his guitar pick once. I kind of want him...but he doesn't know it. He likes Vegemite. A lot. He used to be in a band called Butch Walker and the Lets Go Out Tonites. I used to think it was a joke...until I looked it up and learned it was a real band. I was shocked. Chizzie tends to look down when he plays guitar. He also would REALLY like to know the true meaning of Santi. They pick on him a lot...I probably would too, except he's really hot. And he has an Australian accent. and he can play guitar like a mad man. Did I mention he's Australian?


Thursday, September 18, 2008

Busted Flat in Andrews, Waiting for a Jade...

Alright, so last night was...interesting. At my college, a lot of people decide to get drunk on Wednesday nights, which makes NO sense to me because there are definitely still classes on Thursday mornings and freshmen shouldn't be drinking anyways...then again it is a campus wide thing (this was what was going down when the frat house caught fire), so those of us who DON'T get drunk ending up sobering about having...JUST as much fun as the drunk people with one bonus, WE can remember it in the mornings! Anyways, last night...

I went over to Andrews (which is one of the residence halls) to hang out with some of my friends on the guy's floor, b/c second floor Andrews is amazing! (Also, there are four people named Andrew on that hall, which makes my life.) So mostly I hang out with "Nick" and Mr. Tibbles, who are room mates. Now a day or so before, Linus had stolen Mr. Tibble's copy of The Communist Manifesto, and last night, Mr. Tibbles, who I owe a lovely double dose of revenge, was trying to write a paper on Orthodox Judaism. I decided that it was a good idea to try and get that manifesto back from Linus with the help of PonyGirl (Outsiders reference intended.

So as you may have guessed, asking Linus to just give us the damned manifesto was a wash, so we went back to "Nick" and Mr. Tibbles' room, and while Mr. Tibbles wasn't looking, I grabbed his Jade plant (which he has named Nemo, coincidentally, one of the only things in this post that isn't an alias) off of his back dresser without him noticing, and walked to Linus' room to offer the plant in exchange for the Manifesto. However, Linus had no interest in the Jade plant; it wasn't a good enough trade for the manifesto. He wanted Mr. Tibbles' bust of Marx and Lenin.

PonyGirl and I took Nemo back (Mr. Tibbles never even knew it was gone) and decided that we had to create a diversion to steal the bust because it was right near his head, so while PonyGirl stood near the bust, I went around to the other side to read Mr. Tibbles' paper, which was an acceptable thing, because I am Jewish. However, instead of reading the paper, I typed 'JEW POWER!!!!!!!!' without looking at the words preluding any rate, it ended up reading something along the lines of '..., restricting JEW POWER!!!!!!!!!' which not only caused an EXCELLENT diversion, but it was HILARIOUS.

Needless to say, PonyGirl got the bust and we took it to Linus, but the story doesn't end here. We got the Manifesto and went back to "Nick" and Mr. Tibbles' rooms to flaunt the Manifesto. Mr. Tibbles, however, figured that it was zero sum gain, as he didn't have the Manifesto before and he didn't have it still, it had just changed hands; he didn't realize anything else was missing...of course he did figure it out, and he went to Linus' room to get the bust back, but Linus wouldn't give it up, so Mr. Tibbles to Linus' stuffed Gorilla hostage...which may or may not have been a good idea, depends on if you want to take on Linus in a fight or not.

This caused Linus to CHASE Mr. Tibbles down the hall and into his room where a power struggle went in to play over bust/gorilla/manifesto...after quite a bit of loud chaos and lots of laughing, including Mr. Tibbles declaring that he would take Linus, PonyGirl and I to court under the charges of stealing and trafficking stolen goods...everyone got everything back and all was well, at least for now.

It truly was excellent, and you all wish that you were there, right? RIGHT? Oh, and the title is a word replaced reference to Me & Bobby McGee by Janis Joplin.

Friday, September 12, 2008

And I Thought The Gay Midget Named Carl Playing Tevia and Porgy Was Weird... things that I NEVER thought I would experience that I have experienced in the last few weeks! (Yes, I got my computer back last night, so here's a post! OH MY GOD!)

1. Someone set the frat house on, I'm NOT kidding...I found it absolutely hilarious, but only because no one was hurt, I mean come on...that's the kind of thing that happens in the MOVIES!

2. There was a methlab bust a block from campus...there were sirens and police...and it wasn't college students, which was good, but it was still really freaky to hear about! Even though I may or may not have slept through the whole thing...good times, and GREAT oldies! <--- that's the tagline from an old radio station, sorry for the obscure reference!

3. Zoning out in FYS due to a cold and STARING at Mr. F (from my previous post about cleaning a Skatepark) for 45 minutes...which was awkward, because he might have noticed, and the thing is, I'm not even in to him...

4. Meeting a committee of people who are actually PROTESTING the pot holes on a road being filled in, they claim that it is an IMPORTANT part of the campus...whatever they're smoking, I want some! (Just kidding...) I mean at their table they actually had like a work order petition so that the city wouldn't fill these things was CRAZY...and a little awesome, I DEFINITELY signed it...but only because of the picture they had of Jesus superimposed over a pothole!

5. Realizing that I could have a movie marathon (three movies) with movies that have porn as a catalyst, but are not actually porn films! (i.e. The Girl Next Door, The Amateurs, and Love Actually.)

6. Snakes on a Plane party...that was just made of win...epic win...we all watched the movie in the lounge and allowed ourselves to be scared and laugh and then watch the Cobra/Tai.../Gym Class/Sounds music video at the end...and then we had a dance party in the hallway, pics on facebook...not mine, my friends, I'm not cool enough to take pictures or videos of anything.

7. My best friend's little brother, who I have lovingly named TaserBoy IMing me when neither I, nor my best friend, gave him my IM address...that was awkward, but an interesting conversation!

8. Seeing Amish people in Wal*Mart...that seemed to kind of defeat the whole point, I mean isn't Wal*Mart kind of what the Amish are against? I'm totally against it too, I was only their because I'm a college student, I have no money and I needed laundry detergent...I swear, never again if I can help it!

9. I was asked by my history teacher, who full well knows I'm underage, if I was drank wine...that was awkward, because if I did, would I have told him? doubtful...but I don't really, only when my mom gives it to me, so we're cool.

10. I was given, by some club, an individually wrapped condom that has two fish on the wrapper and reads "One Great Catch..." I was walking down the rows of organizations tables, and here's what went down:
Club Dude:Hey! Want a free condom?
Me: Not really...thanks...
Club Dude: Come on!
Me: Not really into sex...thanks...
Club Dude: Hey, just take it! Better safe than pregnant!
So I took it. Awkward.