Thursday, September 18, 2008

Busted Flat in Andrews, Waiting for a Jade...

Alright, so last night was...interesting. At my college, a lot of people decide to get drunk on Wednesday nights, which makes NO sense to me because there are definitely still classes on Thursday mornings and freshmen shouldn't be drinking anyways...then again it is a campus wide thing (this was what was going down when the frat house caught fire), so those of us who DON'T get drunk ending up sobering about having...JUST as much fun as the drunk people with one bonus, WE can remember it in the mornings! Anyways, last night...

I went over to Andrews (which is one of the residence halls) to hang out with some of my friends on the guy's floor, b/c second floor Andrews is amazing! (Also, there are four people named Andrew on that hall, which makes my life.) So mostly I hang out with "Nick" and Mr. Tibbles, who are room mates. Now a day or so before, Linus had stolen Mr. Tibble's copy of The Communist Manifesto, and last night, Mr. Tibbles, who I owe a lovely double dose of revenge, was trying to write a paper on Orthodox Judaism. I decided that it was a good idea to try and get that manifesto back from Linus with the help of PonyGirl (Outsiders reference intended.

So as you may have guessed, asking Linus to just give us the damned manifesto was a wash, so we went back to "Nick" and Mr. Tibbles' room, and while Mr. Tibbles wasn't looking, I grabbed his Jade plant (which he has named Nemo, coincidentally, one of the only things in this post that isn't an alias) off of his back dresser without him noticing, and walked to Linus' room to offer the plant in exchange for the Manifesto. However, Linus had no interest in the Jade plant; it wasn't a good enough trade for the manifesto. He wanted Mr. Tibbles' bust of Marx and Lenin.

PonyGirl and I took Nemo back (Mr. Tibbles never even knew it was gone) and decided that we had to create a diversion to steal the bust because it was right near his head, so while PonyGirl stood near the bust, I went around to the other side to read Mr. Tibbles' paper, which was an acceptable thing, because I am Jewish. However, instead of reading the paper, I typed 'JEW POWER!!!!!!!!' without looking at the words preluding any rate, it ended up reading something along the lines of '..., restricting JEW POWER!!!!!!!!!' which not only caused an EXCELLENT diversion, but it was HILARIOUS.

Needless to say, PonyGirl got the bust and we took it to Linus, but the story doesn't end here. We got the Manifesto and went back to "Nick" and Mr. Tibbles' rooms to flaunt the Manifesto. Mr. Tibbles, however, figured that it was zero sum gain, as he didn't have the Manifesto before and he didn't have it still, it had just changed hands; he didn't realize anything else was missing...of course he did figure it out, and he went to Linus' room to get the bust back, but Linus wouldn't give it up, so Mr. Tibbles to Linus' stuffed Gorilla hostage...which may or may not have been a good idea, depends on if you want to take on Linus in a fight or not.

This caused Linus to CHASE Mr. Tibbles down the hall and into his room where a power struggle went in to play over bust/gorilla/manifesto...after quite a bit of loud chaos and lots of laughing, including Mr. Tibbles declaring that he would take Linus, PonyGirl and I to court under the charges of stealing and trafficking stolen goods...everyone got everything back and all was well, at least for now.

It truly was excellent, and you all wish that you were there, right? RIGHT? Oh, and the title is a word replaced reference to Me & Bobby McGee by Janis Joplin.

Friday, September 12, 2008

And I Thought The Gay Midget Named Carl Playing Tevia and Porgy Was Weird... things that I NEVER thought I would experience that I have experienced in the last few weeks! (Yes, I got my computer back last night, so here's a post! OH MY GOD!)

1. Someone set the frat house on, I'm NOT kidding...I found it absolutely hilarious, but only because no one was hurt, I mean come on...that's the kind of thing that happens in the MOVIES!

2. There was a methlab bust a block from campus...there were sirens and police...and it wasn't college students, which was good, but it was still really freaky to hear about! Even though I may or may not have slept through the whole thing...good times, and GREAT oldies! <--- that's the tagline from an old radio station, sorry for the obscure reference!

3. Zoning out in FYS due to a cold and STARING at Mr. F (from my previous post about cleaning a Skatepark) for 45 minutes...which was awkward, because he might have noticed, and the thing is, I'm not even in to him...

4. Meeting a committee of people who are actually PROTESTING the pot holes on a road being filled in, they claim that it is an IMPORTANT part of the campus...whatever they're smoking, I want some! (Just kidding...) I mean at their table they actually had like a work order petition so that the city wouldn't fill these things was CRAZY...and a little awesome, I DEFINITELY signed it...but only because of the picture they had of Jesus superimposed over a pothole!

5. Realizing that I could have a movie marathon (three movies) with movies that have porn as a catalyst, but are not actually porn films! (i.e. The Girl Next Door, The Amateurs, and Love Actually.)

6. Snakes on a Plane party...that was just made of win...epic win...we all watched the movie in the lounge and allowed ourselves to be scared and laugh and then watch the Cobra/Tai.../Gym Class/Sounds music video at the end...and then we had a dance party in the hallway, pics on facebook...not mine, my friends, I'm not cool enough to take pictures or videos of anything.

7. My best friend's little brother, who I have lovingly named TaserBoy IMing me when neither I, nor my best friend, gave him my IM address...that was awkward, but an interesting conversation!

8. Seeing Amish people in Wal*Mart...that seemed to kind of defeat the whole point, I mean isn't Wal*Mart kind of what the Amish are against? I'm totally against it too, I was only their because I'm a college student, I have no money and I needed laundry detergent...I swear, never again if I can help it!

9. I was asked by my history teacher, who full well knows I'm underage, if I was drank wine...that was awkward, because if I did, would I have told him? doubtful...but I don't really, only when my mom gives it to me, so we're cool.

10. I was given, by some club, an individually wrapped condom that has two fish on the wrapper and reads "One Great Catch..." I was walking down the rows of organizations tables, and here's what went down:
Club Dude:Hey! Want a free condom?
Me: Not really...thanks...
Club Dude: Come on!
Me: Not really into sex...thanks...
Club Dude: Hey, just take it! Better safe than pregnant!
So I took it. Awkward.