Friday, February 12, 2010

Ten Things to Make You Feel Less Stressed

Here are ten things that should make you smile and/or feel good! They are not in any particular order, but they are designed to make people feel less stressed out!

1. All Alone - The Hippos (song)

2. Christopher Walken/Lady GaGa Poker Face Mash-up (half video, half song)

3. Low Day - Capra (song/music video)

4. Incredibly Failtastic Paper (webpage)

5. Kiss Pandas (picture)

6. Rambo Death Chart (webpage)

7. What Do You Want From Me? - Forever the Sickest Kids (song/music video)

8. Mal From 'Firefly' Meets Rick Castle (video)

9. Is There a Cave? (film clip)
[don't worry, it was just as random in context as it is out of context]

10. New Tenants (picture)

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Noise Complaints

So the girls across the hall from me keep getting noise complaints and it's starting to upset them, so they asked me to buy speakers because they heard me telling one of my friends that I thought I would be getting all of the noise complaints if I had speakers because of how loudly I like to listen to my music...they want ME to get the complaints instead of them.

Also, my COLLEGE is hosting a Passion Party for the girls in my dorm.
Does that seem a little fucked up to ANYBODY else?

Monday, February 1, 2010

Intro to Poetry and Fiction 101

Yeah...more extended metaphor poetry.

Intro to Poetry and Fiction 101

I write the poetry
so that I can get to the fiction.
It's like having to eat the vegetables
to get to dessert.
With every bite of that overcooked
beatnik Brussels sprout
you are being watched just to make sure
that you don't hide the next one.

I take it because I have to, writing the
short lines,
the forced rhymes
because if I choke down enough,
that splendid, delicious
short fiction double layer cake
will be waiting for me.

With every spinach stanza

asparagus alliteration and eggplant
enjambment, I get one step closer to
the pecan prose pie
that I have been eying
since I first sat down.


Yeah, this time I had to write an extended simile or metaphor poem.
God I hate poetry.


Lawyers have thick skin
like that of an avocado.
They have to because if they don't
they back down and if they back down
they are weak. Weak lawyers
don't win cases.

When the lawyers go home
they peel back their thick skin,
revealing what is inside and
some are mushy, feeling the compassion
that deflects off of their thick skin
in the courtroom.
Some, though
are rotten to the core,
the putrid stench of their verbose persecutions
and exaggerated defenses
trailing them everywhere.

Some lawyers are smooth
They duck between accusations and pointed fingers,
arriving skillfully at a well deserved verdict.
But some are slimy.
They grease the bar and barely slip through
using their slicked back hair
and slick black suits to outshine
the work they didn't do.

Some lawyers are fresh with new ideas
and sharp-tongued statements
and some are old, stale
with no originality to their name.
But all lawyers are like avocados
and the French have known this
all along.