This For That, and I Forgot The That...Part I

So some of you may know that I am about to finish posting Heartbreak and Tarot Cards on my fanfiction account. At the end of each chapter, I asked a random question. Now just recently, someone brought to my attention that while I asked them, I never answered a SINGLE one of those questions, so without further ado, I answer 74 of the most pointless questions ever asked!

SIDENOTE: I am NOT doing them all in one blog post, I will do one every...15 chapters I think? Maybe 20..depends really on how I'm feeling when posting! Oh, and some of them will have pictures to accompany them!

The Questions (with the according chapter title and number!):

Chapter One - In Which Kevin Eats The House
Q: Why Isn't There A Question On Chapter One?!
A: I have no fucking clue...I'm an imbecile? I guess there will only be 73 pointless questions!

Chapter Two - Nick is a Prick and Other Anecdotes
Q: Why Is There Still No Question You Idiot?!
A: I...still have no idea, NEXT!

Chapter Three - Bowling Pins With Nick's Face! YAY!
Q: WHY IS THERE STILL NO FUCKING QUESTION?!
A: Because I just looked...and there is no question until...chapter six, so with my neighbor, I shall make up the next two questions!

Chapter Four - Do Not Forget Me, 24601!
Q: Do You Like Mayonnaise?
A: Why no, I do not...I actually kind of hate it...yeah...

Chapter Five - OH SHIT! MY ASS IS VIBRATING!
Q: Why On Earth Do You Have Your Neighbor's Copy Of Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island?
A: I think I borrowed it while I was babysitting to take to the kid's house...I honestly have no fucking clue! Oh drat...she has decided that she wants it back! I guess there is no hope of taking it to college now! ANGST! I wanted to keep that sucker forever! FOILED AGAIN! AND I WOULD HAVE GOTTEN AWAY WITH IT TOO...IF IT WEREN'T FOR YOU MEDDLING KIDS!


Chapter Six - PUS and Rebound Dating
Q: How Are You Guys Feeling About Nick?
A: Well I don't know about you, but at this point in the story, I was about ready to push him through a woodchipper...but that's a little too FARGO for me...sorry Peter Stormare, I will NOT follow you down that path!

Chapter Seven - Be An Animal, Give Up Jesus!
Q: Who Thinks Kevin Overreacted and Who Thinks Denise Did?
A: Oh my god...it was DEFINITELY both of them!

Chapter Eight - I Wonder What You Do There In The Back
Q: Predict What Nick Is Doing While All Of This Is Going Down?
A: Well since I wrote it...I think predicting this would be a wash...so instead I shall tell a random fact - I very often fall asleep next or even hugging my huge thesaurus...which now has a name, rather un-originally, it hath been dubbed Roget. The story behind my thesaurus: When I had my Bat Mitzvah, one of my friends asked me what I wanted as a gift. I told that I wanted a GIGANTIC thesaurus...and she definitely came through for me...and now I have Roget, the love of my life!

Chapter Nine - The Fickle Joe and the Sleeping Sounds
Q: How Do You Think Nick Is Going To Handle This?
A: Ha! Not well...he's an altar boy!

Chapter Ten - Biblical Lessons: Jonas Style
Q: How Long Do You Think Joe Will Be Able To Keep It In His Pants?
A: That's a silly question! Until he changes in to his pajamas!

Chapter Eleven - Crouching Tiger, Hidden Jovin
Q: What Do You Think Of Nick And Miley?
A: I think that I'm moving on to the next question...god, where the hell are the good questions?! What chapter did these question get more interesting?! Oh wait...I'm supposed to be answering question, not asking more! SHIT!

Chapter Twelve - Bible Thumping Teenagers
Q: What Is Your Favorite Kind Of Cookie?
A: Well I'm allergic to wheat...so my favorite kind of cookie would be that without wheat!

Chapter Thirteen - Maitre de la Chambre Faux French
Q: Who Caught The Arrested Development References? There Were A Few In There...
A: Well obviously I did...because I wrote the chapter...so this question hereby sucks and is me shamelessly promoting one of my favorite TV shows!

Chapter Thirteen - SOS Came On The Radio, We Got Distracted
Q: What is your favorite TV Show?
A: Alright, well technically I have not ONE, but TWO WHOLE FAVORITES! Arrested Development (See Question Above) and Third Rock From The Sun!

Chapter Fourteen - This Is Ourselves Under Pressure
Q: Are You Mad At Joe?
A: Yes! So mad that I think I shall walk over to his house and defenestrate him from the highest point of the house!

Chapter Fifteen - God Closes a Door and Opens a Window
Q: Who Likes Gossip Girl? Is It Worth a Shot?
A: I don't like it, but there is ONE good character, and he makes it worth watching, so I'm going to have to say yes, if only because Eric Van Der Woodsen (played by Connor Paolo) is basically the man and a half! HEE! He may not be in that many episodes, but it's worth it for the ones that he's in. The DILF isn't bad either though, just putting that out there...I did watch the entire first season on recommendation from my readers, and I MIGHT tune in to the second season if I see any potential plot with Eric going ANYWHERE good...poor kid, he's the only one who hasn't screwed up majorly...yet...

ALRIGHT! Congrats! You made it through part one...wait, did anyone actually read this? My sources say no...DAMN!

MAGAZINE ALLIANCE HAS IT IN FOR DISNEY! OH MY!

HA! Well it sure does seem like magazines DO have it in for Disney stars!
I mean come on, first with the Vanity Fair/Miley Cyrus thing, and now...and now Rolling Stone? I mean have you SEEN the August cover? One look, and yeah, it looks like a normal Rolling Stone cover, but let's go a little more in depth, shall we?

Alright, first of all, leather jackets...is it just me or do leather jackets sort of symbolize sex? Ok...my mom says that's just me, apparently she has a leather jacket...awkward. ANYWAYS...I still think that they are a little bit of a sex symbol? Just a little? Tiny little bit? Ok, I need to get out more...

Next! At first glance, all is well, yes? It looks like Nick and Kevin have their arms on Joe's shoulders in a brotherly way, and Joe's pulling at his shirt, which, for anyone who knows ANYTHING about these boys, that's something that Joe would totally do...and I think has before; anyways, my point is when you look closer, the hand actually belongs to KEVIN! OH MY!

Ok, ignoring Joe's fuck-me-face and Kevin's I-need-you-now face, let's focus on Nick...and Joe. Aw, big bro is grabbing minifrobro's tie! That's...odd...and look! Nick's clutching on to Joe's arm, am I sensing a little...insecurity in the youngest Jonas? But...but I thought that HE was the confident one! OH NO! I FAIL! Or maybe they're just fucking...

Yet the headline is God! Girls! Guitars! Well great for the three G's...I mean really they should be Gay! G-String! Guitars! (yes, guitars gets to stay!) so Rolling Stone needs new headline writers...perhaps me? No fucking way. I will work for a magazine when pigs fly...which, with science, will still not happen in my lifetime.

Let me just ask why, despite the fact that Rolling Stone MUST have taken AT LEAST 100 other pictures, did they choose to put THIS ONE on the cover! It's too sexual for what MOST people's images of the boy band are...however for me and Jonascestors/Jonaslahers/Jonashippers like me, this cover is PURE Jovin with a dash of Joick and Holy Trinity...

So Rolling Stone, I salute you, thank you for the many fangirlish screams that I know were not just me! And may I just say, LONG LIVE THESE BOYS AND THEIR...actions.